What if

Hot headed couples with harsh words and mean replies. It looks like the end of the relationship as we know it. Turning the page after three loving, wonderful, and magical years. Isn’t that just sad?

In fact, like all women, I was staring depressed outside of my train window, listening to my go-to break up song “so sick” by NEYO. When I looked up I started wondering about my future… How would it feel to love another person? Recently I came across a quote by Fitzgerald, and it got me thinking; I am used to the love and warmth of his love. Do I really want something else? A love greater and grander? Like all women, I say yes.
I met a guy, he gave me all his attention and care. He, let’s call him jean-pièrre, was so sweet, you could feel your teeth rotting and instantly die from diabetes on the inside. And like all women, I tried to imagine a future with jean-pièrre. Surprisingly, I liked that “what if”- thought. Yes I did, because all this sweet and sugary courting reminded me of how my Diego courted me in the beginning of our relationships, of our dates, our awkwardness, but the future we planned together was looking prettier than living in royal castle with jean-pièrre. It’s is the best future I could ever imagine because, unlike my future with jean-pièrre, the one I’ll be having with the man of my life is realistic.
What i loved so much about pretending to have a different “boyfriend” is that in every scenario I pictured me and jean-pièrre together, I foresaw my Diego’s reaction and responses. I have lived with my Diego for so long, know him inside and out, and I know how his brain and heart works. I dont need a “what if” because I can say with certainty thay his love for me, slowly but surely, grows greater and grander everyday. I fell in love with my boyfriend all over again in those 50 minutes of train ride home.

Here and now, tomorrow and forevermore, I will only have one true love, and I am sincerely happy I can entrust my heart with my Diego.

I am a writer, & someday you will know my story.

Audrey Jane Irish

I wanna stop pretending I wanna tell the world you WERE mine.

I wrote a mail once, with the subject: ’ I want to stop pretending I want to tell the world you’re mine. ‘

It was the title of a poem or rather a song without music and vocals of a dying bird— me. It was a mail I wrote in my über-lowest-down-moment. I wrote it after a guy dumped me in the subway station after ignoring and avoiding me. Not very subtle of him really, especially for the fact that we do go to the same high-school and we were in the same class! *facepalm*

Like every desperate, pathetic, cryingherheartoutmakeupruiningherentireface-dumpee I tried working it out with him. Resulting in nothing new; still got silence, he still raced out of the class to avoid me &c. I tried this for weeks! Eventually a month later I decided to write him a mail. That way, would’ve decided to open the mail or immediatly delete it, I would still have some sort of closure … or so I thought. Again like every cowardly desperate, pathetic, cryingherheartoutmakeupruiningherentireface-dumpee I did not send him the mail. 

I found that mail today in my draftbox, during my yearly mailbox cleanup. I thought it would be fun to re-read it and make fun of myself. Sadly, I had the complete opposite feeling. Even if I am completely headoverheels for my Diego, I still felt the pain, sorrow and regret I expressed in my mail. I felt my heart break again. (and it is not because I am an AWESOEM writer).

It was plain young highschool-puppy love. I never expected it to go further than that. Although it was damned from the very beginning, closure is something every dumpee needs. Wondering WHY it ended hurts more than anything else.

myedol:

Chicago by Dominic Boudreault
GIF created using footage taken from the timelapse video The City Limits by Dominic Boudreault. 





Artists: | Vimeo | [via: Robot Mafia]

myedol:

Chicago by Dominic Boudreault

GIF created using footage taken from the timelapse video The City Limits by Dominic Boudreault. 

Artists: | Vimeo[via: Robot Mafia]

The beautiful and tragically short life of Kristina Akana. September 13, 1993 - February 14, 2007 

ninja-fail:


Against the Darkness
by Anna Kay Akana

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My Favorite show! Respect!

collegehumor:

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This is just perfect <3 And guess what! It can hold up to 300 books! Mom, I know what I want for christmas.
lprocket
Bibliochaise by Nobody&co right here.

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My childhood hero, Dr. Suess

You &amp; Me &lt;3

You & Me <3

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jascurtissmith:

Amen to this.

jascurtissmith:

Amen to this.

aziaan-hipster:

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